(n.b.)

I’m sorry
but
here’s a chapbooklet
for Friday or whenever
no time
any time
sorry
this is where I walked
and now we walk
(as
Everypeople)
as far as grace permits


in the distance

yet
come closer
there is the nearest thing to house
that was a home
a room
blue walls
plaid textures
(to
recall)
and my rough way
(as all)
through adolescence

earlier
there had been sleepwalking
I remember
waking in the black-tiled bathroom
and on the stairs
of
neutral color

I also remember crying
at night when the ceiling fan
bit thing
in
the hall
must be turned off

I don’t know
standing for some king of peace
perhaps

now I remember
reaching down for something then rising
hitting my head upon a rail
drawing blood
but
because it was a late dark time
trying to leave it all
alone

in the black bathroom
anyway
where it would be easier to do any cleaning
then
or later

so
maybe there were demons then
maybe it pursues me
still
chases and sometimes
must catch

far in experience
in memory like a spell and also
now
and is there exorcism to
relive
or any riddance trying for
that older
and smarter

for all the times
it passes with currents
such as blood
within
and also getting out
so very much

too hurt
too angry
for a child and a teen
and for the since
the growing up
once
grown

sigh

come closer in
to remember
to embrace
what
to keep
(closer in)
what to be rid of for
the time remaining


inside the seven days

inside
the seven days in May
of a good story
when
we challenged everything
we thought
we did well in black and white
then
realized we had missed all
the grays
between

at least like Fail Safe
we did not
begin
to blow up ourselves
or like the other
story
in which we finished off
ourselves on
Earth that
time


(Seven Days in May, movie 1964 based on novel 1962; Fail Safe, movie 1964, novel 1962; Doctor Strangelove, movie 1964, novel Red Alert 1958)


mood swing music indigo
(brief retrospective)

1

dance
to syncopation
first
time

jazzy gospel gets us
started

but approaching war-time
swing
music must
take over

and in how many lands

the heavy boots
on time
were overwhelming but could not
sublimate

there being resistance
(always)
in these cases all the counter-steps
meaning freedom
from the jacks

2

a way to swing through the Depression
to believe
in something new
as old
had failed with
Hoover
then with Chamberlain
in Europe
where the shadow rose
and light was
hiding itself
against
the Bible strategy
and
so too weak to withstand
gray
and black

and all the death to music
it went for

3

now we’re here
the music spilling everywhere
without
foundation
though days cannot help
but be based on
the days
before
and resolution or the lack
if any

even without jazz-resolution
so that
all to hear
to dance to
is
not jazzy
only moody only
indigo


unchurched

what is thoughtful
what is faithful
to share
to share the love of God
though we only know our own
no better
maybe no worse
that if hale at all
in spite of veniality
or
the mortal kind
at least
is something to try more so
than other
alternatives
hatched in other places
by
other kinds than the source we
may not know
yet’s on the move
regardless


fail safe

what is
safe
why
nothing when the lion
offers comfort
folded inside the fur
warm-blooded
muscle

and it’s the thing
the beast
that
when beast
tears with the claws we knew
were there
but wanted to be folded into
something
warm
and strong

air
water
land
certainly fire
all have bifold natures
and allowances
and then
the things with choices
angels
of both kinds
and us
you know
with everything a resource
for decision


by the numbers

by the numbers
I think I watched once
someone
paint that way

I was impressed
in
something bright and
sonorous
(maybe there was music
near)
covering plain
numbers
even accurate
and with
a certainly and yet near the lines
an aching wildness
of beauty
in which
to work

I know I could not do it
if admiring
the product
though
I must admit I lean toward abstract
for appreciation


then penultimately yours

it’s Friday

compose well
this day
even plans to recreate
or plan not
to plan
to play

breathe easy between actions
as if
in intermission
before the act
go in

for many it’s a weekend
plainly
so work
and look forward
then
to have it

a comedy perhaps
to play through


c l couch


photo by Vinicius Duarte on Unsplash