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apologium

apologium

I’m out of energy and health and I don’t know what
to do
dear God
dear
God
am I allowed to ask for something like a miracle
or not like at all
but in fact the miracle

I don’t like myself
so much
and
life has been a combination of my bad choices
and bad choices made for me
and I don’t know
how to work our the judgment of all that
and
think maybe that it isn’t my job

and maybe I really too
much
on grace and mercy
or
maybe
in fact I do not ask hard enough
earn my way
through emphasizing
even crying
what
I want

as I read prophets and kings and how
they plea to you before
during
after
travesties

though I’m not sure the order in some psalms
if
confession comes first
and then gratitude
or
is gratitude expressed up front
or maybe
anyway
as a fact of life and love and when
dispensing grace
and
mercy

if only in waiting
and
to keep the time for us
and keep us
in the time

oh
God
I need your help for I am too tired
and
I am wrong and have been wrong
too much
so there might be patterns
of
familiarity with sin

as if a cycle
only at eye-level
meaning one that doesn’t change
by
overall improvement
and
to raise my vision

but stuck
for
all these reasons and some
more
no doubt
and
yes
I try to reach out
on Earth and honestly
that hasn’t
worked out so
well

which I guess too close to the way of the world
while
understanding I have failed
too

and if all the wrong is punishment
well
how may I argue
if maybe
I’m prepared for enough fitness
to
take part in what is next

though there is that grace and mercy
and the choice
for
faith and I wonder if that should be enough

not my idea

anyway
God help me
please

defeat the enemy and help me
to know friendship
with
your angels
with some of your people who are trying
to get
by
in a soulful way
the way
through here

c l couch

and, yes, this is my confessing voice, though it could be the voice of anyone who needs and is trying reaching out

the title (my subcreation), a single apology or a place in which apologies might be confessed

queens and queenly people offer songs of faith as well, often with more confidence; e.g. Miriam, Deborah, Judith, Mary mother of Jesus

photo by ONUR KURT on Unsplash

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sing them over

sing them over

repetition
and to teach us how to take us into heaven
by
the words of life

and the one word most of all who made
and who saves
for the good reason
given
in the gospel

and sung from time to time
which might be the way
the word
commanded
into
nothingness
become creation

c l couch

Sing them over again to me, wonderful words of life;
Let me more of their beauty see, wonderful words of life;
Words of life and beauty, teach me faith and duty.
Philip R. Bliss, 1874

photo by Johnny Thorpe on Unsplash

2

on the theme of freedom

two poems, below, one poem prompted by a photograph, both on the theme of freedom, maybe grace

imagine this
but don’t do at home or at the zoo

a lion in a cage
or any creature that have tooth or claw
or open
with
the cage left open or maybe having
broken without knowing
over time

and to be near
there is great fear of
our own
lives
beholding

yet also the delight in
nature freed
in
witnessing extraordinary muscle
from
impulse

picture of a fox
with thanks to Alexander Sinn

this might have been outside my door
it wasn’t
but how wonderful

an inquiring look
a standing on all four

all grace
not knowing any other

gold colors
against gray
if
gray is useful
shading black and white

though in green
or on an earthen plain
the
surprise
the stunning character of life
that’s not our own
but
serves
as the fox gives
of
its own heart without awareness

c l couch

photo (fox) by Alexander Sinn on Unsplash
n.b.—sorry, I don’t know how to insert a photograph, only add (one) feature image

photo (lock) by Marcelo Bassi on Unsplash
n.b. 2—cages are being turned over, or not have been built, in favor of more open enclosures and parks (we could say habitats)

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a Dickinsonian ask

a Dickinsonian ask

are you small

if so
then so am I

there is a planet
after all
with so much bigger
than
ourselves

and that’s all right
I think
for small things matter
starting
with
molecules

as if each
were molecular to the body of
the cosmos and so part of
anything
that is wonder
that
is anything that moves

so we are part of grand
but
keep it small so
we’re contained by decision
and behavior
to
what we can manage

and maybe
join
with someone else
and if
you think so
too

c l couch

photo by Lydia Williams on Unsplash
she really didn’t write in an attic

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book report

book report

Lucy means light
while
Edmund means traitor

ask
Gloucester

Peter means the rock
ss
Susan is all color
and glamour

and these go into Narnia by
furcoats
and a lantern
for
the snow

and then one should meet a faun
and have tea since it is
an
English story

there is a queen
who
is not regal by temptations
and by
actions and so who is betraying
whom

though it’s down to Aslan to perceive
and go by prophecy
to die

and there is a battle as
there shall be
another and
another
through the series and with skirmishes
between
inside
and some of these

shall deal in faith
in
what is true and so what
to believe and act
upon

and how
to end in time
for
more stories

who goes on or might be
introduced

c l couch

30 [journalist code]

n.b. [a note we hope that benefits, and in this case is the giveaway]

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C. S. Lewis

photo by Anton Kotlovskii on Unsplash

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gateway

gateway

Jesus
commanded
and the sea went still
and
we were told to love

excoriation
of the leaders
for
white-washing over
insides
to revile

these aren’t suggestions
and
they got him into trouble
and we can’t quiet
the sea though we can
paint
white over

and leave that direction like
a participle dangling for those preferring
being
cruel in school
and then
you know
the school of life
in
which we teach by example how
to cheat
and how to cover
rather
than ‘fess up

‘til we get
to
the day when
cheating
is
so normal that the coating of it
isn’t needed

then in this world that
marching order
stands
and
how to love in such a devious place
in such a future world
yet
how about
now

to follow and initiate
hear and
serve
the mandatum of the Lord
then what
about the promise of the gates
of hell
for those who stand behind them
waiting
also demanding payment
from
the landlord

before learning the gold is fake
and only found for true
inside the flesh
or
wherever
soul resides
which could be on
either side
if only
one side shall prevail

as the gates fall
with
victory and sorrow for
God’s
winning side that
triumphs
also
weeps because of all the other side
that might be
lost
and will
be lost

c l couch

photo by Frederick Wallace on Unsplash
“As it looked on the 60th anniversary of liberation on January 28th, 2005.”
Oswiecim, Poland

Matthew 8:23-27, Jesus and the storm (Mark 4:35-41, Luke 8:22-25)
Matthew 16:18, Jesus and the gates of hell
John 13:34, Jesus and the new commandment (which is not new but newly given)

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doctor whom

doctor whom
and how to heal

I love the chosen people
and
who shouldn’t for their being
first of all
the people of the Earth with
all

and their stories are
remarkable
and
for me and those like me
these folk
and folklore are
the
parent presence and allowance
of our faith
further
on

and this love comes to mind
because of
news
I guess
and who’s making all the terrible mistakes
and
who has made them over time

and
who loves whom
through imperfection
spying first the log before getting
to
specks

Matthew 7
3 to 5

these are my forebears by tradition
and
in the present are a fine
wonderful people
whose festivals
are
grandly calendared then more
importantly
observed

and don’t the observations show
a range
of who we are
and
now we belief

maybe anyone on Earth

and
yes
honestly
and if to forfeit something to the human world
I love the Arabs
too
and all Semitic
sibling peoples and then course the love
through
Asia
back through Africa
Americas
Pacifica
those visiting free polar
lands
directions ‘round
and people
‘round

and
not that anything goes missed
but
what better way to fix or
re-set the vision
but
together with a practical
human affection to invoke and thus
allow

the people of the Earth
sense each
other
and with an aspect of
positive interest
desire to
know
and eagerness to serve

and let that serve the fullness
of Shalom

c l couch

(the title is a name of a collection kept at Pinterest and, yes, in tribute of the science-fiction character who saved the Earth if not all the cosmos, episodically

and by the mention of it, I believe that folklore is real)

photo by Matthew L on Unsplash (SHALOM)

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six o’clock TV hour

six o’clock TV hour

the end of the world as we know it
and I
think we are
supposed to feel
fine

though there are endings and are endings
and in this
it’s
relative
since
a part might have an ending
so
that something might can begin

and
all our lives have stops and starts with
passages inside that are
the length
we
need

c l couch

“the end of the world as we know it” and feeling fine are found in a song (eponymous with the line) performed by R.E.M., written by these folk—Peter Lawrence Buck, Michael E. Mills, John Michael Stipe, William Thomas Berry—and I got the information I didn’t know (also the poem title) from https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/rem/itstheendoftheworldasweknowitandifeelfine.html

photo by Lance Grandahl on Unsplash
so the water may begin

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obeisance

obeisance

and my back hurts
and
the pillow doesn’t work
as if
it should

no anodyne
then
except for faith
and to endure
not
back pain so much as the stressing
of the heart
to do
better in all pain
still
to love
and even to obey

and what do you want
Lord
if not for me to love
and
serve
you
best I may
and the people whom you made
as well

and I am one
and
so get some love as well
which is
enforced by law

you know
those great commandments

and my back still hurts
and
yours might
too
or something like

c l couch

Matthew 22:36-40
36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

photo by Arjan Stalpers on Unsplash

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