two poems, rather confessional (maybe more in the classic sense of apology as an explanation or defense or maybe I’m expressing sorrow, too, maybe all around)
can’t
I can’t get what I want
can’t
get no satisfaction
there’s a song by the Beatles
too
that when they sing and in the video they’re always
running and
I know the song but can’t remember it
just now
running where
and do we know watching them
and
do they know if only in character
or is it only the running
for
entertainment all that
matters
pacific
not going to church again
I ruined it by
not
sleeping and I don’t know how much trying
to lie down and forced back up by
sickness from the place
and
well
from
me
and so I feed my doubts and maybe God
is with me
on my side with having doubts
while
still affirming
still
loving me and maybe welcoming
my soul
I mean
I’ll go to church
I’ll
simply do it in the homey way
literal as I have been
going since mornings have been hard
with insomnia from
the illnesses
and
by in these I mean mistreatments
the probably of what I want
on Earth
when more often I’d just as
soon not wanting anything but here I am
and human
by
which wanting is fine
is good
as long we don’t twist or untwist the ways we think
when thinking low
is
the way to get what’s wanted
created desire
after all
and given with all pleasures
and
good
dreams even good wishes
in
there somehow as we
have been made
and
are loved throughout
ambition
goals
humor
sex
humorous
sex
they’re all fine in their created state
approved and to have and share
express and own
well
co-own really
that’s the best
now
who am I and what I want that’s
all right because maybe
I can have
it
as you should have yours
the co-created things you have and
also desire to
go after
well
and I don’t know for you but
I am older and rather
classically
sick
and tired
and cannot do so much and so
must compromise
will
and will
you know
and so
well
I will
I know I want some peace
sometimes I think
more than
love
though peace is a form of love
when hale
not
to bother
or be bothered
is what I have been
thinking
which is not a bid for isolation as much
as a wish for style
and
how to greet and interact
with
others
even in prayer
as God
might have it
might
take me
c l couch
(“A Hard Day’s Night” and I attended church on line)
photo by Vincent Y @USA on Unsplash
Crystal Cove State Park, California, USA
Apology of the Annoyed
Immortal
Invisible
And sometimes
That’s annoying
And at other
Times
It hurts so much
Not to see anything
Hear anything
By what is pressed upon us
That we can see
And hear
Even emotions
And our thoughts
Seem more real
More touchable
More holdable
Sometimes
Ghosts
You know
In stories
Seem more palpable
Than your presence
As we say
Everywhere
Why must you be unseen
Why must we count
On evidence
In nature
So that our faith is challenged
By a storm
Or flood
Or quake that kills
Why we might have to guess
At your approbation
The source of an eruption
While we must flee
The valleys
Where we live
Below
You are inside
Somehow
We say
And how really
Does that work
Unless we invent them
Or turn out
To be
One of the few
Who hear them
Say
Joan Dark
There are no voices
Inside
But our own
And we fill up the inside
With organs
Thoughts
And feelings
So where is
The space for you
We say
Your word is in a book
In many books
Though books are still
Unrevealing
‘Til we open
And read from them
On our own
Or in the forum
Hear
Someone officially
Say
This is the word of God
And truly
Is it so
The glass is dark
Which might be the metaphor
That helps
You’re there
You’re on one side
We might see movement
Guess at mystery
Find faith
Ill-shaped
By what we see
And cannot see
Or hear
Should there be sound
As well
And could we guess
That you might be
On our side
Of the glass as well
And by your presence
(guessed at)
Might believe
You favor us
Not our side
As politics
But simply being here
And you are here
Was there love
In your making
Things
And making us
With apparatus
For induction
Deduction
To figure out
That is
Through impulse
Too
And instinct
Gained
Conditioned from each day
We encounter
We experience
Make wisdom
Or simply know
Without knowing
How bits
Of the world are
Through what we have
And what we use
And what is used
Of us
So much a kind of
Instrumentation
And what for
To know there’s something more
Than us
We know
By simply
Living life
As its own evidence
And proof
Within
What there is
In all forms
And shapes
And differences
And energies
It might seem
Life proves
That you exist
And because
We are more
Than what’s inside the shell
(the blood and such)
In faith
There is more than us
And this more
Might be you
C L Couch
“Immortal, Invisible, God Only Wise” is a hymn.
In addition to I’m sorry, apology also means explanation and defense.
Photo by Denny Müller on Unsplash
(x = space)
x
x
Measure Twice
(or thrice)
x
Apologize twice
Once for God
Once for other people
And if you’re a polluter
Then
Once more for Earth
x
C L Couch
x
x
Photo by Bozhin Karaivanov on Unsplash
x
Lent 31
I’m sorry
Just then, did I seem weaker?
I shouldn’t have,
Though I struggle with confession, too
I don’t know how good this is
Balm for the wounded soul, I guess
Maybe a strengthened bond
In the community
Necessary, I don’t know
For all the secrets that die with
Persons who left unspoken
Matters of regret,
Even tragic
I might do that
You might
It isn’t peril for our souls
Since all is known by
One who judges perfectly
We won’t escape a reckoning
Though there’s a bias in our favor
It is cleansing act,
I think
Not until the next time
But for all time
Technically, it’s preparation
For worship, life in spirit in
A fuller way
Open for distraction
Into heaven
I think I sang in dreams last night
In daytime, it takes practice
Rites partake in that
A life open to soulful beauty in
The music, as is said, of the spheres
But it can go ugly, too
Rough, tear-scoured
Anger exorcised against the
Truth and amelioration
As apology works its way
Through tears falling
One side or the other
(meaning inside or outside)
Confess
Forgive
Let sunlight be cleaved unto the darkness
Patchwork living
At its best
This side of things
All sides of things
C L Couch
by ‘Speculando – https://www.flickr.com/photos/lbarreto/2231876206/, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=3504753
Songpyeon, a variety of tteok, Korean rice cake
for Chuseok, celebration of the autumnal equinox
Apology
Sometimes I look into sky
There can be clouds
More viscerally when it’s stars
We see bucolic things
And we should
But sometimes it falls back on me
The sky, the stars
And if one can feel vertigo
When sitting still
Well
I’ve tried to imagine it all
And it has smacked back on me
The universe, as if I’m told
Cannot take me now
Don’t even try
It’s not yours
Someday, maybe
You’ll know your place
And your way around
C L Couch
(too beautiful, too much)
https://www.spacetelescope.org/images/potw1707a/
Apology for Valentine’s
I’m sorry
I didn’t mean to say it
As I did
I wanted to say something
So in nervousness I
Spoke too fast
And said too little
C L Couch
http://www.wisebread.com/12-smart-uses-for-safety-pins
clcouch123 
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