church gone

as in I went
to church today
was
driving
and
drove in because I know
the church is pretty
and probably
for something
more

saw cars pull and people going
inside
so I went in
as well
hoping I could
I don’t know
make my way by gestures
forgotten
words
half-remembered

but
worship
anyway

the church was lit as much by
morning light
I think
a stark shadow rendering
in silhouette
the gigantic cross of
Jesus

I listened to the homily
about the special
day
today
of guardian angels

of angels
everywhere
I’m sure

we gently waved to each other
maybe
a legacy of the pandemic
and we smiled

I did not take part in
the Eucharist feast
since
it was twenty years or more since
confession

(I
don’t
think I would have been caught
out)

we left
I left
got in the car
resuming my drive
more
or less
to nowhere

into a world that matters
where
and when
(yesterday)
my
niece is
sick with cancer

c l couch


photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash