at four
I moved a bunch of things around
at four
a.m.
and
do you ever feel that way that makes
you move
by impulse
maybe a sign of depression
of
at least preoccupation
then
to hope by the day inhabited
more sensibly
changes all
look or serve in another way all right
about the depression I have pills
and counseling
and
then the need to be up at four moving things
around
in what I think is
my home
life
though I’m not sure I was thinking anything so grand then
in
the dark hour rather unsaintly
of unknowing
and now
I think on it
I knew
a chaplain who when he had to told me
that he cleaned his place at
two
antemeridian
that is
c l couch
photo by Luke Collinson on Unsplash
a few things I’d rather have written about today (and then heard further about the shooting)
Tributaries
Today is
Mom’s birthday
She’s been gone
Since ‘83
Gee
Now fifty years ago
Come 13 June
There is gravestone
With a flower
Though we had planned
A rabbit
And they go it
Wrong
So many things went wrong
Back then
And not to say
Things are so smooth now
There’s legacy
Though certainly
We’re on our own
And up to us
And on us
All our choices
By life
She lived too brief a life
I had wishes
For gifts and such
Hopes for relating
Never realized
Dreams
Dissolved
Everything went numb
And dark
For a while
And some of that remains
Even fifty years
Later
When it’s late
In the time
Of all of us
The children
While it’s also blessed early
For the new ones
To carry on
Inside generations
One by one
And all together
One, two, three, four
Black, white, green, red
One by one
And all together
Now
The Today Show
Today
Is a better day
Because I washed something
You don’t know what it means
If you’re depressed
And then
Improve one thing
One small thing
Unless
You are depressed
And maybe this works for you
As well
I hope so
Not to scrub
Obsessively
Toward bleeding in
(bleeding out
or in)
Somewhere
I mean washing
Almost without thought
Cleaning it
For safer
More hygienic use
Again
So ordinary
Now so extraordinary
Realized
And realized
There’s
Some sort of spiritual
Match in this
The extraordinary
In the ordinary
I can’t remember
Is it us
Made by God
This way
To live that way
Is it our purpose
Or the purpose of the universe
Made of small things
That become huge
In planet-making
In eruptions
Upon every rounded surface
At some time
I don’t know
Somehow the small is large
While remaining small
And I cleaned
Something small
And it has largened
My awareness
Just enough
To let in something better
And I could give it
A name
But for now
Will simply live with it
Let it live with me
(please let it live with me
a plea)
Nameless
And wondrous
For a while
lento
the ashes are gone
most likely
(we’re supposed
to let them fall off
naturally)
sometimes the skin
is broken
where they were
upon our foreheads
anyway
we’re in Lent now
the long season
named for the lengthening
of days
it is the Italian word
that also comes to mind
lento
meaning slow
play the music here
with ease
taking your time
while attending to
the baton
ahead of everything
the instruments
and guiding
interpretation
the Buddhists say
go slowly
they’re on to something
especially
for these days
in which the days grow
gradually longer
in assurance of spring
the green season
on its way
and we hope it will arrive
with nutrients enough
in soil
and rain enough
from above
and our good choices what
to plant
so that at long last
there might be abundance
though we’ll need the right amounts
of rain and sun
from above
a spiritual collaboration
we might believe
and hope for
even plan for
in these lengthening
of days
we make time now
to file away
what we know
and don’t know yet
eat less now
think more
lay a new foundation
for prayer
more solid convictions
and intentions
on which the frenzy
soon enough
will build
time now
maybe for dreams as well
to have them
talk about them
with the Lord
and with each other
on the plane of Earth
C L Couch
Photo by Praveen kumar Mathivanan on Unsplash
(x = space)
x
x
Don’t Listen
x
I’m sad is all
And maybe I may say
Who wouldn’t be
It’s raining
There are feet of snow
Out west
And that’s dangerous
x
In the south
There were tornados in the night
Can you imagine?
Too many don’t have to
You wouldn’t see it
You hear the train
If you can hear
The sounds of what you know
Changed into splinters
Horrifying
x
You might go dark
Deeper in, that is
Or might be missed
(tornados leap this way)
Or under things
That fell
But living
Needing to be found
x
And a factory nearby
Exploded of all things
Also last night
And people inside
Sorry
Some were killed
Others hurt
And people missing
While searchers search
Press conferences are held
Because
They have to be
x
Another factory
Not so far off
Went this way
Some days ago
I don’t think
It’s a conspiracy
But these destructive
And frightening
Severities
Must be taken seriously
x
Last night’s inferno
Costing
Families
The ones torn up
For good
And those in the community
Losing, too
x
You see,
The people in this factory
Made candy
Of all things
In fact for decades
And should have been
With all the chocolate offerings
Just in time for Easter
x
Now associations
Snow-driven winter
Romantic Southern nights
Anticipation of confections
Well,
The fears will have to go somewhere
Coping mechanisms
Mechanized
(as in ready to go)
Let hope
Like grace doctrinally
Abound
x
So I’m sad
Maybe I don’t know how
To take it in
To breathe vicarious
In addition to my
Own intake
For, well,
My own
Somewhat depressed
I deal in this
And have had counseling
And medication
x
The day’s been gray
With rain
Not life-threatening here
Persistent
Cold and dull
Is all
And enervating
x
I thought about errands
And such
Then thought better
Thinking it better
Or maybe better would have been
To go out
Get wet
Do something
x
C L Couch
x
x
Photo by Peter Jan Rijpkema on Unsplash
x
clcouch123 
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