First and Last Resort

I pray
And maybe I don’t know how

There is the famous prayer
To pray
And I pray that
Though am prone to leave it
To formality
In
The attending crowd

But how about from
Me
To you

I can pray anything
I know
I can say anything

You hear
You love

Even forbear
And shall be disappointed
Even angry
Maybe even punishing
On this
Side

(like the claws on her back
in
The Horse and His Boy)

I now it’s not a trick
A puzzle
To get right
One
Way with all the right pieces won
As at a contest
Or a fair

Hit with the hammer to show
Enough strength
Water
The clown
‘Til the balloon above should
Pop

Not a
Competition
Not at all
Like
These

May I say
I love you
And I need you
Don’t know
How
But anyway
And will you help
Even teach
To love and need
The
Others’
And my own

And is it bifurcated
The other’s wish
And
Mine
Fate even
Direction

What is shared
And what must be
My own
Though God
I have been on my own
Enough

(and
maybe the other
has
or hasn’t)

How shall I pray for these
Except
To keep it simple
Even humble as in
Without the dross of vanity
For
Distraction
From what’s true
Like the
Unencumbered arrow

And the target
Might be
Resolution
Shot with grace
The arc toward the center
Near
Enough
Perhaps

Being a newbie always
So it seems
Even practiced
For I pray so much to you
And
Still it seems
I only start

And if we mean it
Should be good
Amen

C L Couch


Photo by Isabella Fischer on Unsplash