Poor (not as in bad but as in not having) Prayer, Real Prayer—2 poem-prayers
Poor Prayer
Dear God
I’m too pent up
And that’s not healthy
I’m also poor
And could not buy my way
Out of anything
Or even have
The coat I want
Care for my feet
Or shoes
Though you gave me
What you gave me
And keep giving me
Though I’m uncertain
What that is
Not doubtful
But uncertain
For somehow
I know things
A few things
Anyway
But not enough
For sureness
As I breathe
And as I think
And as I move
At last
Into the day
I do understand
You give
With or without expectation
Or do I simply manage
Through the hours
As I may
As I can
With what I have
And like the other poor
With what I must say
I don’t have
Real Prayer
Sigh
What I’m blessed
I do not know
There’s the morning sun
Yellow on green
And branches
Is that
Are these
Gifting for me
Because I’m the only one
Looking out these panes
At this time
Or is there more
Or less
And how are we blessed
Anyway
Not through things
Through gilded anything
(I pause
to drink
and honestly
am grateful for the drink
against the times
that poverty
or sickness
kept coffee from
me)
Or property
That is the Earth’s
Though we believe we’re claimants
Well
The wealthy
Or the mortgage-ridden do
Or could
(I’m not sure
how much possessiveness
they feel)
So what is ours
And what are we blessed with
From your hand
And your say-so
Might we own
Pieces
Of a whole
Or simply lent them
And then leave them
Which seems
The wider lesson
From the form
That living takes
And then
What do you want us
To do
In this next hour
And day
And the life
As a campaign
But to do
Justice
Says your book
And to walk humbly
By the way
And what is that
Are these
Except we know a code
Delivered from a mountain
While we waited
By dancing
Before idols
Though we could
Dance for justice
And humility
I suppose
And do you think
Would you approve
And
Allow for our confusion
Our mistakes
Even our flaws
Until we get them right
Which might
Take all our mortality
Of energy and time
Though
As a God
You will stay with us
I suppose
Even a judge
Should have to watch
And listen
Before judging
Well
I know there’s love in there
Forfending errors
Allowing for the pardoning
Of sins
And moving on
With you
Further abstractly
Farther even physically
On Earth
And in the universe
We observe
And only push our pins
Into
So love us as we move
And when we’re still
Even remembering
Our virtues
Or our lack thereof for pardon
Then to set us on our way
Or leave us to it
As we may
And bidden
You’ll be with us
Ornery
Obstinate
Aggrieved
Trying again
Amen
C L Couch
Photo by Nikola Knezevic on Unsplash
(the thing about an archway is that you go through it—CLC)
formless supplication and God what shall I say to you but help like the Beatles I suppose or anyone inside a boat with water pooled and seeming to rise help and bring some rags and a life preserver the dry-land versions this time and I don’t know what that means and I hope that that’s all right praying for formless things nonetheless to assist because I know you’re not a genie and this is not a trick with a lamp or the words for what I want to get them right or be fooled in what I’m getting or not and I like the raven or the spider in the story but you are not a trickster though you allowed tricks upon yourself with a kind of king for a day and then the awful truth falling on you by the end in a darkened noisy afternoon I’m sorry I’m simply asking for your help and in the grace of it not knowing what that help should be and does it count lack of specificity and I think it might c l couch photo by Martin Brechtl on Unsplash
2 poems
(about God and self, I guess, though, you know, you will find what you will find)
Freely
And there is God
Who first believed in us
First made us
Before we
Set out
Inventing
Re-inventing
Ourselves
Finding the words
We will be known by
If known at all
The looks
Our posture
Whatever
As if creation were a game
Of changing jerseys
Even affiliations
When we can get away with that
Elide expectations
To something like our own
Satisfactions
Who knows
Maybe aligned
With how that God
Had made us
With our natures
Toward our inclinations
Regarding expectations
Heaven-sent
Rather than
Always
Earth bound
Hours
Not much
For a Monday
I’ll admit
Frankly
Tried to sleep with back pain
Then woke up
Heavy on my leg
Under the other
But I breathe
I imagine you are breathing
Too
And there is a day ahead of us
To try
To sleep
Perchance to dream
(well
isn’t that what came to mind
honestly)
Or more importantly
Work out our dreams
Or if need be
Exchange them
For something good
It is to wear
To walk
To recline
To move through the world
And what we have for home
What works well
For a life
With potential satisfaction
Meaning
Faith
Pleasure
And hopes even high
For this and into the next
Hour
C L Couch
Photo by Tristan Colangelo on Unsplash
2 poems about questions, answers, roads paved or more or less left wild
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following Your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
Thomas Merton
Please It’s Time
Time to go
Hello
I must be going
Don’t know where I’m going
How I’ll get there
Hire people
Friends
And family
I think
Will help
In several ways
Some place much quieter
Maybe without anyone
Above
A first-floor place
With a cottage
Or a monk’s-cell
Feeling
Even
While in touch with those
Around me
Still
But a kind of silence
(normal noise)
Predominant
So I may think
You know
And write
Something that I mean
That is not mere cant
To the bad noise
All around me
Now
Until it be then
Because there is more peace
Possible
In a new place
With
Who knows
Insulation
Maybe a care
For domicilic living
Each on our own
Together
When it’s willful
And pleasant
To meet
Drink
Talk
Reflect
Together on
Now and then
Merton Certainty
(with examples in the irony)
What shall I do
I feel too tired
To move around
To do
Much of anything
So what shall I do
It’s a matter of
Decisiveness
As well
Against the fears
That stall me
Like an engine
Without fuel
Or with
An enigmatic problem
Where shall I go
I do not know
Where would you send me
Lord
If that’s a possibility
Anymore
If I haven’t used up
All the opportunity
You made in me
On what has exhausted me
Left me with lethargy
For legacy
Sigh
It’s all
Tired confusion
And there’s penury
For by now I guess I know
What I would
Do
Where I would go
To do it
Situations
Simply prevail as well
We are not in a vacuum
Even with
Our breathing apparatus
We might be stuck
Or simply feel
In place
Without the drive from
Me or someone else
To change
To go
To Ulysses-try
Lord Tennyson
Were I a lord
I would not hesitate
Again
But give things a go
Since there should
Be funding
Even expectation
That I be on the move
To earn my title
Each day
I live with it
And this is why
Maybe
Some of us rob this
Place of that
To have a sum
To say
Self-deceptively
I only need one
One amount
For food
And exhalation
Then to spend
Of course on
A better kind of life
Maybe
For all around me
Or I’ll go somewhere
To spend
Until I’m caught
Or must surrender
In the other way
I don’t know
Except there won’t be
Taking anything
If I must say
No more
For I don’t know
How we might steal from
Each other
Which is
You know
The other side of coveting
Leaving eight
Commandments
To be bad at
As well
Though really
As we age
If we age
Nearer to judgment
If we get
To go
That way
We might relinquish
Mortal holds
On many things
Literal
Abstract
The things we always wanted
And the wanting
Maybe
I feel this way
Wanting less
Thinking less
Of years to come
Because I can’t
It isn’t
Reasonable
Except for afterlife
So defined
That as
Such we do not know
We are not sure
Precisely
How it goes
But anyway
There is a mortal day
Today
And it shall feel forever
In a part of me
Surprising
Ending
Maybe
(well
for certain)
But for now
Do what we can
Breathe what there is
Maybe find
A kind of peace
In this
Or enough ambition
Still or new
To try
Even
To strive
(lord
and Lord)
Ulysses-like
The conundrum of
Sit still
Or sail on
When both have virtues
Both are real
And romantic
Do one
Or the other
Maybe time for both
Taste
And see
And also hear
And use the other senses
To suss
Then practice
On virtue or the other
Travel minimally
Like
Henry David
Or take a chance
On the world
Like
Amelia
C L Couch
www.stjameslimerick.org/daily-devotions/2021/9/21/a-prayer-of-unknowing (and cited many times, many places on line and in books and maybe in sermons)
Photo by Bahador on Unsplash
The Invitation
God is love
And if you wish to live with love
Then you could know the source
And be encouraged
Helped
In this life
To the next
And if you wish to live with hate
Then you could get to know the source
Of that
The nothingness
To have
In this life
And the next
That’s pretty much
The way of it
Love or
Its absence
Choosing one
Or the other
The rest is ignorance or luck
And it’s likely as you read
You will have neither
For your own
Lesson and
Salvation
C L Couch
Photo by Richard Gatley on Unsplash
The Mystic, Ordinary Process
(for Evelyn Underhill)
Live the way I want
To
Which would mean
Living with you
With your nearness
With
Your love
And as a recipient of mine
Learning anew to pray
Into the world
For everything that’s wrong
And to keep
As in care for
Everything
That’s right
To practice confessing
Beyond
I’m sorry
To live out penance
Through listening
Responding to the world
And what is needed
Here
There is
So much to do
At Pooh Corner
Though contemplatives might say
The real action
As is said of many things
Is actually in the heart
And in the head
As vessels of the Spirit
Even launchpoints
For the Lord
To think
Canaveral about it all
Then to the world
To the rawness of it
To the terrors
And the grossness
And also
To the beauty
Of it all
This is
So strange
To say
And will you be with me
When my dignity’s
Surrendered
And I stand bloodied
Before
Ersatz courts
Places of injustice
Even fortresses
From which I know
Nothing
Of the entrance
Or the exit
My way through
Must be with you
Even if I’m on the way
To an earthly version
Of infernos
Not because
There is a heaven
On the other side of that
(I’m not that smart
to know)
But because I’m trying
(yes
I know
I’m trying
hah)
And you honor me enough
Bestowing companionship
Which is
I know
Enormous honor
So be with me simply
Because simple
Is all I really know
Not without art
Or an acknowledgement of grace
To have things
Understood as
Special
When things are barely moving
Or
Even in crisis
Something remarkable
(dare I say
amazing)
And when it’s quiet
And as
Such
The hour is
Still
And it’s
Simple
Easy
Once again
Plus there might be someone
And-or
It’s the two
Or three
Or four of us
And that’s a party
In which
Loving things are said
Loving games are played
And we discuss
The nature
And the aspects
And
Well
The now
Also into the future
Of everything
Foray into the past
When necessary
To keep the rest
I know
Real
But it’s now
And you are now
Help me
Forgive me
Stay with me
As I would be with you
Perfectly
But so imperfectly
For now
Until you teach me
In a place of
Frankly
Afterlife and grace
Thank you for faith
And even my response
As is
C L Couch
Photo by Richard Lee on Unsplash
the Keep
God keep you
though in this world
I’m uncertain
on my way toward
doubting
what that means
God keep you
from harm
but we know
that doesn’t work
don’t we
God keep you
in a job
and house
and with security enough
to have these
without fear
God keep you
in peace
throughout your country
in such days
and in such days
we must not believe
keep such naivety
these days
and
sigh
so what does keep
what do I want
for you
in that
that God should keep you
anyway
in faith
and with peace that certainty
must pass understanding
the way
things are
and that
your choice
shall keep you
in the half-sphere of faith
that empties into heaven
all the time
where the other half
dispenses joy
that doesn’t lose a moment
in bathing you
somehow from inside out
with that
and peace eternal
peace internal
and so together
a new world
and with companionship
that cannot
be torn from war
against you
or anything
(that Bible promise)
from the Lord
c l couch
Numbers 6:24-26
photo by Vonecia Carswell on Unsplash
Relative Faithful Consciousness
I haven’t said God
To you
Or me
This morning
Through I might have spoken
To God
Anyway
Yes
I know we say it
Different ways
Different
Intents
(too early
for
ontologies)
But I think
You know
I mean to say
Civilitied
Good morning
Or
Dear God
To start a prayer
As I stretched
And moved with
Care
Depending
On mindfulness
Toward the counter
To make
Coffee
Someone was there
(without Reed-Kellogg-
like
diagramming for
discovery)
And I think
(anyway)
I knew
Grumpy
And doesn’t God
Get grumpy
Too
Withholding a flood
But wanting to retaliate
In other ways
Or simply have us
With our wills
Go away
A while
Well
Maybe not
I guess God’s always on
Always perfect
Always love
Good morning
C L Couch
Photo by sumingliu youyou on Unsplash
Nature for Liturgy
This is your day
God
But then
So was yesterday
A litany to you
Could have been
Between the sunset
And moon
Rising
Or even closer
The response
Of branch
To wind
We could guess
The words are everywhere
And should we know
The language
We could antiphon
With
Nature
Find the circles
And to join
Them
In
Nature’s lack of need
To worship
But providing perfect places
For it
All the same
An invitation
All the same
From
The world that
We have
Gradually
Used up
Irony
And gratitude
Shall we apply
In moving
Aside
(inside
or outside)
To be
Here
In splendid
Airy
Easy
(save for awe
mountain peaks
or seeming
depthless
oceans)
Company
In unaware companionship
But offering
The same
Anyway
For our hours
In irony
And gratitude
C L Couch
Photo by Chuck Eugene on Unsplash
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