niece

as Golgotha at home

vicarious
surrogate
the pain of God
on
Calvary
and so take on the unsaving burdens
of the world
without
perhaps the world asking
in fact
the world go so far as to realize the killing

whose pain to
bear
and should I ask to move away
the suffering
like the onerous
stone
each day

and should I ask hers even more
to go
though it’s false-brave of me to say

and yet
the sacrifice was there
and
does it mean
refer to and change
both kinds of pain
the body’s
and the spirit’s

and
I don’t know
but heal her
please
and then may I ask
heal me

c l couch

photo by Sandy Kumar on Unsplash


church gone

as in I went
to church today
was
driving
and
drove in because I know
the church is pretty
and probably
for something
more

saw cars pull and people going
inside
so I went in
as well
hoping I could
I don’t know
make my way by gestures
forgotten
words
half-remembered

but
worship
anyway

the church was lit as much by
morning light
I think
a stark shadow rendering
in silhouette
the gigantic cross of
Jesus

I listened to the homily
about the special
day
today
of guardian angels

of angels
everywhere
I’m sure

we gently waved to each other
maybe
a legacy of the pandemic
and we smiled

I did not take part in
the Eucharist feast
since
it was twenty years or more since
confession

(I
don’t
think I would have been caught
out)

we left
I left
got in the car
resuming my drive
more
or less
to nowhere

into a world that matters
where
and when
(yesterday)
my
niece is
sick with cancer

c l couch


photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash