those who ever said I could have
if I had been
better
meaning better
in talent
sure
there’s also the spirit
not in
if God let
me
but if God had kept this from happening
the thing
or
things that limited
worse that
might
have required me
to sin
or
to choose virtue
sometimes either’s
limiting
sin
circumstance
situation ethics
or
lack of worldly repentance
on Earth
or in ourselves
I coulda’been
but
aren’t we all
contenders
c l couch
photo by Moo on Unsplash
complaint department
(customer service?)
and is it punishment
and it could
be
at least I have to think so
for
all the wrong
the sins
the sin of stupidity
along
with more direct trespass if
and or
according to a moral
vagary
I don’t know
how we are punished
while
on Earth
we punish ourselves
of course
and endure
or
are extinguished by
the punishment applied
by
others
yet all demons
are not of our making
if at all
though we might make much
of what we have done wrong or
try
to re-manage
re-arranged the into a rationale
itself
tortured by reason
beyond
self-exorcism and the instruction of
pain and suffering
there
are demons
actual that
try the winning us to hell
that
our souls should go denying or
fist-shaking at
any goodness from the Lord
many
reasons
many sources then
for
adversity
among these the reality
of bad things
happening
you
know
Rabbi Kushner
no punishment beyond
reality
that the Calvinists might say
is
invested by depravity
from how we fell
and all
that fell with us
c l couch
Harold S Kushner wrote When Bad Things Happen to Good People (whom and which I mean to cite respectfully)
photo by Intricate Explorer on Unsplash
read the story behind this photo: https://www.intricateexplorer.com/adventures/618 [invitation from the photographer]
Like a Prophet’s Repentant Cry
(a minor minor minor prophet)
I am a sinner
Yes
And if I could cry to the hills
Not because God is there
Because God
Like Banksy and Kilroy
And as
We know
God is everywhere
But hills are curved
Easy on the eyes
And beg
Distance
For reflection
Trying to establish vision
Of the Lord
And of my out there
With God
And also in the world
At least among
The open terrain
Like hills
And I ask for repentance
As in
Maybe there’s a spring
To go to
Near the crest
Or in a dell
And I might wash my face
My head that is
The major sinning place
Nearly all
The things that go awry
Beginning there
And if
Forgiven
I may turn
Go back to town
Or
Wherever
Work or play might
Take me next
And it’s a round
Rather
A cycle
Sin and pardon
With petition
Reconciliation in between
Which for now
I guess
Has to be all right
God has seen
Has sensed it all
Truly knows the
Within
All that’s in
My head and
Heart
What is it now
The Bible law
More than that
Sacred direction
And
Tradition
Loving the Lord with all
Our minds
Our strengths
Our souls
Like the speaker in the famous poem
I have so far to go
Deep miles
Snowbound by peccadilloes
And
Peccata mundi
Through spring is at hand
Like God’s hand
And should we take that
Even climb into it
(God’s hand
after all)
Our repentance might become more like
Lachrymose
Mundi
A world of tears
A world of
Forceful tears
As in tears
Starting with tears
That rain
After sins
Vital
Creative
(unique)
And creating tears
As Jesus filled
Jerusalem
But now beginning in irony
Perhaps
Of sins
Of one’s own
Of mine
C L Couch
Photo by Simon Ray on Unsplash
Well and Good
(ironic)
Oh
God
I haven’t thought
So much of you today
Weighed
Down
By my perceptions
The license that I give to stress
And even honest pain that
Doesn’t ask
For this
Forgive me
I guess
Though I’ll be doing it
Again
And
Venial or mortal
I typically can’t
Tell
So that confession
Is not a bust
Though I’m sure
A disappointment
Sigh
What shall I do
To be a servant and
Myself
To serve another
Too
And to serve you
I know
Which should be
First
Sigh again
This might be a loop
If not a cycle of
Post-Edenic rebellion
Which
We set up
As it were
At the start
But is my nature
Always enough
To explain
While I have will
As we always have discretion
Even difficult
In the moment
But I’m sorry
And I’ve thought of you
For seconds
Now
Such a big deal
And should I wake up
In my anchorite cell
Even with a car
For company
A holy cat
By its own calling
Once retrieved
The gray stone
With a specific symbol
On the wall
And a few pages
By the bed
Made out of
Nature
Meaning
Natural things
To know that I’m devout
And here to serve
The people of today
In a world
That maybe strives to rise
Or to wallow
Though I must
Keep the vision
For all of us
That may
Allow ourselves to rise
Maybe through the window
And the windowed world
I have
To look out on the other
To wait
For the inevitable
And then to wait
As in to serve
Responding to their need
And how they
How you
Say it
Then all should know
And you may know
At last
That I am with
All the time
By my own will
My time and style
Though here I am
For now
Small-town
Me for now
With all my errant loves
And wish
I could
Do better
Though for lack of djinn
And also resolution
Remains a wish
Among wishes
For faith
Or for a pony
(again
sorry
and amen)
C L Couch
Photo by José Alejandro Cuffia on Unsplash
(psst, we’re busting out of here tonight—my caption, sorry
and in part of the poem-prayer I’m channeling Saint Julian)
God Out
What shall we
Draw God into
Not that
It is too unsavory
Distasteful
Don’t you know
Not that
It would be unseemly
To have divinity
Involved
Even to know
Well
Not that
Either
It’s too ugly
And profane
And we think sex
Is involved
And not that
For it was murder
Yes
Between adults
But still
The wrong thing for a
God to see
And to be known
For participation
In such things
But
Yes
Well
God knows all
Sees all
Hears through everything
All walls
Even anything
We pull up for a barrier
And yes
God’s dealt
With murderers
As well as
Thieves
And liars
And
By the way
God knows everything
About sex
Even the aberrations
So
God
Could be involved here or
There
Which means
We’ll need new excuses
For God’s
Exclusion from
Our ugly troubles
C L Couch
Photo by Raghavendra V. Konkathi on Unsplash
I Do Confess ’t
God
I feel fat
Like the fat
That Gertrude
Said of Hamlet
Meaning
Tired
Or unprepared
Or
You know
Fat
I think
You’re with me
On the inside
And guide me
From there
The presence
Of your
Spirit
Prompting
Poking
Whatever motion
Works
And I
Recalcitrant
(and fat)
Do not get it
Push back
With my own will
‘Til near
Destruction
Sometimes
And
Sometimes
Even after
You’re with me
When I’m
Slow
And wrong
Through the thickness
Of my flesh
That hides
Everything I want
To hide
Awareness of the harm
I cause
In all directions
To all souls
And do I do
So much
Or
Take too much credit
With vanity
Somehow
In deprivation
When
I know
You can ameliorate
Reach out
In dreams
Or more directly
Touching the vibrations
Of heart-wisdom
In the hurt
And maybe
For the moment
Lost
C L Couch
QUEEN He’s fat and scant of breath.— Hamlet 5.2.313
Photo by cal gao on Unsplash
(x = space)
x
x
By Gosh
x
God
Sorry
God
You’re not sorry
In this way
I am
And I presume upon
Your
Intimateness
I seek your pardon and
Too often act
Assuming it
x
There is your mercy
For intention
And grace
For your means
And these are bestowed
Free of us
Our institutions
Our intentions
All of them
x
What we might do
Or think
And shall you always love us
Yes
You will
We are nothing new
And always new
Oldly
And newly
You forgive us
Even direct us away
And it helps
When we cooperate
x
Forgive us now
Forgive me now
Your will be done
And all or ours
Somehow
Beyond our doctrine
And the statements of our creeds
We need them
They compass-point us
We need you more
Who are
The magnetism
Earth and sky
And everything
That follows you
For being made
And not for looking
For you
For they know
You’re there
And frankly
You are here
x
We have to know
We have the will
That took us out of Eden
In the way
Of will
As we shall have it
And while the evidence
Mortally is lousy
Still
We come to believe
With everything
We are
x
Wow
A paradox of understanding
And enactment
Fortunately
There are the words
And there is revelation
In the words
And truth worth following
Unto the last
x
But wishing
Wishing
We could have more
We could meet you
And you’d take us
Hand in hand
As metaphor
More like cell to cell
For real
x
What is real
What is truth
You are both
You give us both
And more
And should we be
Grateful
x
For all we know
And must sigh into
What we don’t
And let that be all right
It is faith
After all
By definition
And by will
x
And how do you want us
But by will
Without the concrete obligations
In our love
But our love
With the best evidence we have
Or more important
Anyway
x
C L Couch
x
x
Photo by TopSphere Media on Unsplash
x
(x = space)
x
x
Halfway Home
x
The sacrifice
Of your shed blood
He said
On our behalf
In prayer
His words the surrogates
A shadow
Of the death itself
x
Horribly
A bleeding body
Shed of its spirit
At the last
A life too pure
A sacrifice
For us
x
Yet there it was
In expiation
Half redemption
For our sins
x
The weight of everything
That hates
Crushing his body down
Pushing out his spirit
On to Hades
Or Valhalla
To Gehenna
Or to Sheol
As it’s understood
To name it
x
Half the promise
The brutal
Ugly
Barbarous part
Complete
And it is over
He said it was finished
Maybe it is
x
C L Couch
x
x
x
(x = space)
x
x
Gilead
x
There is a balm
In Gilead
I don’t know where that is
I don’t know if
It’s on a map
The Gilead
That heals
The sin-sick soul
x
And I don’t know
What it is
The balm of Gilead
An ointment
A colony of physicians
Waiting
A miracle in local water
Or the air
x
And is it
Sick with sin
Or sick of sin
As in
I’m tired
I want something better
I want to strain
Fewer people for it
No one hurt
Really
Because I think
I want something
I no longer want
x
And did I ask for it
Before
Maybe
Probably
But there’s also something about
Whiter than snow
Impossible
Except to take the texture out
Though it’s the texture
Of the sin
That needs removing
Money
Lines on the face
The heart
Whatever
Wherever
x
Heal me
Leave the scars
I ask with sighs
Certain things are inexorable
Like evidence
Though cleanliness
Time
Humor
Smiles for friends
And even for the world
Have wrought
A great deal
By repentance
x
C L Couch
x
x
Jeremiah 8:22
x
Photo by Christina Deravedisian on Unsplash
x
clcouch123 
Recent Comments