Christmas Elegy at the Mall
a red wagon and video games and a baby brother and another puppy (the one I have’s grown up and harder to carry) and snow on Christmas and the day after (so maybe we won’t have to go shopping) and a snow day tomorrow and a big TV that will fill up a wall in my room and Legos for Star Wars and Harry Potter and enough left over so I can make a Bat-Cave and a cell phone I can look at ‘cause I know my folks won’t let me use it and the part I want in the Christmas play and a tree that hits the ceiling (which is what my father usually gets) and lights on the tree and the paper-mache ornament I made to look like a pear (you know, from the song—and it sorta looks like a pear) and lights outside the house and around the window in my room so I can look at the lights at night and for my sister to be good (I’m already good) and lots of the cookies I like (the kind with icing and Red-Hots—you know, what I leave for you) and just one big candy cane for me and anybody else who wants one
and
and
and
and—you know what, big guy, forget all that
just bring my mom home safe from the war
October 14, 2015 at 5:56 pm
Wow, I wasn’t expecting the ending. Nicely done!
October 14, 2015 at 8:51 pm
Thank you! I know women who serve, and they aren’t attended to enough.
October 14, 2015 at 10:22 pm
Very true
October 14, 2015 at 5:56 pm
Hey CL, you took as all out this way and then zipped out the other 🙂 Well written piece. I bet that’s how a kid would feel if his mom was at war…how sad.
October 14, 2015 at 8:53 pm
Yes, I think it’s uniquely difficult on the family when women serve. And the situation needs to be supported, more. Thank you!
October 14, 2015 at 6:13 pm
this is great…love the enumeratio (boy that’s hard to work into aa conversation) nice gait, and you capture the breathless little kid listing what hes asking for Christmas. And the last line is perfect…:-)
October 14, 2015 at 8:50 pm
Thanks for your comments. I don’t hear the word gait often, and it’s a good word. Yes, I think children are quite capable of rattling off long lists in, as you say, a breathless way. But even this child had enough or figured it out.
October 15, 2015 at 2:00 am
lots of good old words are underused
October 14, 2015 at 6:57 pm
This is the first poem I read of today’s batch and you set the bar pretty high. The enumeratio is perfect for a kid telling Santa what he wants. I absolutely love the three ands before the twist. Fantastic stuff!
October 14, 2015 at 8:48 pm
Goodness, thank you! It was kinda fun to write a long list and then say, in essence, forget it.
October 14, 2015 at 8:14 pm
You’ve created a good one just like a kid would want. Bravo!
October 14, 2015 at 8:47 pm
Thanks! It’s good to know I can create the mind of a child. Really.
October 14, 2015 at 9:54 pm
I liked the part about the Christmas tree. My dad would get trees that scraped the skylight. And the ending is very touching. I think of my son who will be joining the Marines in less than 2 years. Very nice.
October 14, 2015 at 10:17 pm
Yes, my dad got those too-tall trees, too. I admire your son preparing to serve. Thanks!
November 5, 2015 at 10:35 am
This one is a great list,but last one is the best. 🙂
Thank you for visiting my blog. 🙂
November 5, 2015 at 5:28 pm
Thanks for reading! And (and more) for writing!