discretion
a prayer
1
I’m not sure what
to say
what would you like to hear
what
would be good
what would be loving
I wish I were an expert
in
what I am unsure
theology
perhaps
mathematics of the mind
or
of philosophy
if I knew church law
or
could know business far better
than I do and the business of
two people
God
human
spirit
and through all
too much for one
as the world is excessive for
one person
and yet I don’t understand
the two
much less the three
in one
with one of me
too much
I know too little
2
yet who
receives faith but anyone
and
faith must go this way
neither trick
nor contest
but acceptance
and
decision
yet even those who cannot choose
might be as
saved as any other
so there should be hope
well
all around
and I might know you
too
at least enough
to pray
and live in a bit of expectation
of some health
some peace
at last
c l couch
photo by Brendan Church on Unsplash
first through last message
I don’t know what
to say to you
today
which I know I say many times
at least
to me
but I don’t
I could speak of a-gap-e
the kind of love
that has no terms except to manifest
itself
the kind that comes from God
as all that’s good has come
from God
while evil is allowed
for now
and agape ruins that agenda if it seems
that evil wins for now
since
that is the illusion
that what is bad is victorious
and lasting
which is
regardless
how I feel sometimes
and maybe you do
too
from time to time
but what is bad will not persist
and what is love continues
to be chosen
as
it’s always available
as it’s in us
and as we decide
not only dwells but gets out
rather well
sometimes in surprise
always
in small wonder
if
sussed
yet it’s real and even ordinary
that is
to the loving
maybe is confounding to the wrong
who are loved
anyway
and
wrong’s agenda
which we may not love
so much
but
by praying for confiners
when
confined
who is confined
as far as victory might have to be
concerned
then
love wins
c l couch
photo by Vanna Phon on Unsplash
it could be Perelandra
I’d like to say
war does not belong
or
evil in any obvious form
as well as some
sometimes
the insidious
I’d like to go on to say
rampant fire does not belong
whatever
the origin
and
lava flows
eruptions overall
then there are floods
sometimes
seasonal
sometimes otherwise
at hand
in other words
all the problems that destroy the body
try will
with severity
challenge the virtue of the spirit
what promises bad ends
and tries to take us
there
does not belong
could we have a world of this
instead
and what belongs
is
good
and easy
and airy
and practical
and makes a world worthy
from which to explore
and is there
doctrine
or a selling point
that says we’re there already
but
we’re not
and have to deal in all
the evil
with the good
the war
the fire and the flood
and
what goes on inside us
shall we be saved
while everything is motley
to
our spirit-sight
our senses
to celebrate inherent goodness
and
to bring it out
c l couch
Perelandra is a novel by C. S. Lewis. It is considered science fiction and is about a world facing a choice and so be fallen (as a world) or not.
photo by Qingbao Meng on Unsplash
a smallish lay prognosis
after writing feeling ill
1
so
it’s an ending
to some wondering
and
like the song
to wander
all the while
and is there anything to say
to do
I’m thinking
drink more water
then
promote
to juice
2
I guess I should say I’ve been very sick for a while. It’s not heart disease, though heart disease complicates everything else. For instance, what had been prescribed for me had to be taken back, with apologies, once it was discovered that my heart or heart treatment can’t have that medication. Anyway, it seems I’ve been posting, though I told myself I could take time off plus, in fact, the posts have been rather scattered in content, sort of (more so) like parts of my taking part in the blog go scattered on good days.
I might be past the nadir though I hardly feel the zenith. But I thought I should share with you what’s going on.
3
and
yes
I know it’s worse out there
in so many places
and I’m not running for my life
from fire
or when it’s worse
what we’re doing to each other
and
I don’t always get the balance
to care for
a fallen world
and deal in fallen me
i
think too much to choose
rather than embrace
the paradox
of
dealing with the flesh and
dealing in the world
that has its flesh
as well
and so
should not everything relate
everything belong
c l couch
(the phrase has been around, and Richard Rohr wrote a book called Everything Belongs, so you know—and William Blake writes of embracing contraries, that phrase or term becoming the title of a book by Peter Elbow)
photo by mrjn Photography on Unsplash
the procedure if not an end of diagnosis
through the pain
through what the heart allows
urgent care
some good was done and
I was treted well
with
nothing new but good guesses about
dehydration and how awful is
the atmosphere of
where I live at
present
my guess about the atmosphere and no one
disagreed
and after rides and therapy supplies from
friends
and something of
the usual visit
I was returned
maybe
to sleep this time and hope for anyodyne
out of the help I have
received
if
an uncertain diagnosis beyond
hydration
plus change the atmosphere
c l couch
day after the worst night
(a little more versicle)
photo by Zongnan Bao on Unsplash
more of an entry than a poem
sorry
hot
no sleep
no rest
since we can rest consciously, I think
no food
a little water
watching the left margin
lean toward the right
on the page
that is
the screen
it’s alredy too hot for summer
and
by meteorology
the season’s only started
then by
the
calendar there are several days to go
roughly two and one half weeks and
why
is it so hot right now
past the heat of the day
too
well
fluids will help
some good
and I’ve had both
and soon
to take
some pills
and apply patience
the heat will peak
more
so
it’s the ongoing matters for which
patience to apply
I guess we know that hardly
anything new
for wisdom though I recall
now
once a conversation with a friend in schooldays
of a while
and
I was told of a hard family situation and my
friend’s role in that
then how
the patience used ‘til then was almost
gone
and what
to do now for such a favor
to which I impulsively replied
again
no real wisdom
but
that at this moment is when patience is really required and
not so much before
which made a
difference
and
could make a difference now except
I still can’t credit
much the
source
c l couch
photo by blayne spires on Unsplash
the flower you may know (I wouldn’t) as impatiens; I picked for a pun, since I don’t know of a flower called patience (hah); impatiens grows in colors more than Christmas
tomorrow, a post briefer and more versicle
leavetaking
God
be with us
‘til we meet
again
and there is more to say
but what we mean
we know
in asking the creator to be with us
to be with you
from
whom I’m parting
that safety go with you
and
in your better aims
success
and I guess for me as well
that I should
keep the faith
with which
I’m asking
to be present
suffuse in
our
relationship
c l couch
(“God be with you” appears in Scripture, in fact of various traditions, and is the first line of a Christian hymn; “God be with us” is the meaning of Immanuel)
photo by Sebastian Enrique on Unsplash
well, there are two poems here, the first I wrote on how I was (am) inside, the second as an extension, prompt, based on the photograph—so it’s a little journey through words and image and more words and hopefully acceptable to you
ergo sum
what freedom do we have
I want it
and a little more
which
is why I drive to no places in particular
but
to take in the view
pretend it’s clearer air
and always new
discovery
exploring
better than an armchair
if only really
not
so much
(clc)
photo by Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash
“Morning Hikes”
[Morning Hikes
to quote the photographer]
honestly
I’m wondering
if
one is holding back the other
preventing straying
yet
also perhaps initiative
the insight of one’s own
to move
to fine
more
than what it tacit
agreed upon
then
is
someone holding back another
or is the first one affirming
that
the other comes along
and this hand-
holding
is the gentlest of cues
c l couch
the gospel of the morning breeze
the morning breeze is
somehow
cool and warm
and I get it through
an open window only by some inches
so I could have missed it
but
it blew while I was
near and so I got the benefit
even of an easy paradox
to go with the pairs of contradictions
that
don’t go over gently
not at all
c l couch
photo by Smithsonian on Unsplash
Henry Ossawa Tanner, “Mary”
clcouch123 
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