Well, I collapsed.  Without warning.  By the car, outside the store.  It was hot and the lot was asphalt, though I was told later on that heat was not the reason (yet unpleasant).  Ventricular tachy-cardia.  For which I have new medication now, while adjustments have been made to the device underneath the flesh, as it were.  And I lived in fear and nervousness while in the hospital, even though the people there were very good to me.  It’s the “without warning” part that scares me in addition to mortality.

I exhale now; I sigh.  What will happen.  But I guess no one knows.  Though usually one can guess depending on the current second and the next one, should we have it.  And we live expecting that we shall.  I have some extra air on me, which helps with the anxiety.  Pills to take, then hours to count on and even bear up into a useful mound of current muscle that can be used toward something good.  Some small service.  Some smaller destiny.

I hear the rain against the window and am thankful.

Thank you.  I mean you who hear this, too (who are frankly reading and are frankly reading), and mainly in the moment.

Thanks to you.


to eternity (even from here)

somewhere there was a first creation
first nothingness
first abstractions
of the light
and of the darkness
then the substances
of day
and night

and how marvelous
and then more substances
of water
then of land
and all things
in the water
on the land

how marvelous
an evolution
of grace
and power
that decided to make
to turn around
as on a wheel
an Earth

and on it
us
and then a day
to rest
also
to set the model
for the rest of us
(even
to invent
a weekend)

and also
set the model
for delight
for it was marvelous
all this making
and to set us all
inside it
over it
and with it
work
then play
astounding play
with muscle and with heart
(also) contributions
of the sixth day
or thereabouts

somewhen there was a first day
of creation
and among the things
made
was now
is now
the hours that we have
(nothing like sixty minutes
that are
a useful construct)
the time in the years
of the Lord
until the Lord say
enough with all the brittleness
of sin
and literal degradation

time for the re-making
into fluidity
and solidarity
that last
and do not use up so much
the graying molecules
with the withering grass
and flower
from the center
where mortality
has been dwelling

time for something new

marvelous re-making
(not like Fernando)
into the kind
of sloughing off of cells
that perfectly
shall feed the grass
and raise the trees
keeping inside
the new creation

and
who knows
we might get
to take part
in all this
wonder
(marvel)
like
sand between the toes
like children playing
knowing that this
serves
grown-up causes
too

children knowing this
for growing up
with new allowance
to grow up

a glorious day
as certain songs
have sung
and keep on singing
on the bitter ground
the tarny water
even
of the way
we have things now

maranatha
Lord
and as
Immanuel
be with us
as at Bethlehem
for birth

through all of the experiences
there
throughout western Asia
northern Africa
unto Europe
and the world
as we have marked it

finally
no borders as
seen from those of us
who get
to orbit

except for lines
of wonder
become only invitations
to the flesh of interest
colors that fascinate
with shapes
and textures
for our learning
in delight

for we keep learning
growing
through Parousia
and the new tasks
even exigent
that might be set before us
in what happens
now

c l couch


photo by Eugene Golovesov on Unsplash